I have a new long piece at Cartoon Movement about faith-based crisis pregnancy centers in the Bay Area. I visited a bunch of them over the last couple months pretending to be naive and knocked-up. A column detailing why and how I did it will be up later today is right here.
For those of you who might be interested in keeping abreast of the more personal topics I sometimes cover on this blog, I suggest you check out this new ridiculous thing I am doing, wherein I don’t eat any goddamn food for a month. I’ve undertaken a 30-day juice fast “cleanse” to coincide with the natural hibernation, pre-spring fat burn that I guess is about as “natural” as using a terrifying device to strip all the stomach-filling fiber from delicious, delicious produce. Recipes, photos, and generally TMI. Seriously, you guys, I am learning so much about colons.
Another victory for peer pressure and the internet time-suck: I joined Formspring over here, where you ask questions of people and they answer them. I don’t know if there’s any information you’re really looking to extract from me, but if so, fire away.
I took the CBEST test today in the first step to becoming a credentialed substitute teacher in California (and Oregon!). That was some embarrassingly easy shit, I tell you what. Though I did enjoy the essay question on “the little everyday things that make [me] happy.” Indoor plumbing! I also finished the test in two hours and ten minutes, which is a little more than half of the time allotted; I was the first person finished in a room of about 30.
My favorite question, though, was in the reading comprehension section. There was a little anecdote about why teachers should dress nicely for work, because if they show up in “dirty jeans and sloppy T-shirts” then students won’t respect them. One of the questions asked what the article’s author had intended for this sloppy teacher example to indicate. One of the options? “That the teacher is a dangerous extremist.” That was hardly the only time I was nearly persuaded to answer jokingly. The Magpie and the Fox fable was simarily enticing. I’m going to make a terrible teacher. I can’t wait!!
This review is of the “Best American Comics 2008″ edition, which actually took chances on “up & coming” creators (that Eleanor Davis cover! my god!) as opposed to this year’s volume, which is about as recession-proof safe as one could imagine. My guess is they’ll sell as many(/few) of the boring as of the good ones, but try to convince some Houghton-Mifflin editor of such economic realities? Good fucking luck, he’s banking on modest Crumb-driven sales. (No, I cannot bring myself to blame guest editor Charles Burns.)
And I’m starting the year-end awards early, because really, there’s no way anything could top this.
Yes, this is the real forecast for the day after tomorrow in Oakland, California. So let’s just give it up, guys. Use all the plastic you want, gorge yourself on factory farmed burgers and have tons of Catholic babies. We’re clearly fucked as it is.
From this week’s missive. “A metastudy by several U.S. universities applied the Tightwad-Spendthrift scale to romantic relationships and determined that cheap and profligate people can love each other.”
I’m not saying it’s not possible, just highly unlikely, at least from where I’m standing. More from the study itself:
“That is, ‘tightwads,’ who generally spend less than they would ideally like to spend, and ’spendthrifts,’ who generally spend more than they would ideally like to spend, tend to marry each other, consistent with the notion that people are attracted to mates who possess characteristics dissimilar to those they deplore in themselves (Klohnen and Mendelsohn 1998). In spite of this complementary attraction, spendthrift/tightwad differences within a marriage predict conflict over finances, which in turn predict diminished marital well-being.”
I love the heavy parsing on “diminished marital well-being.” But I’m sad to hear that these tightwads are so ashamed and self-hating. I think moderate to extreme cheapness is one of the most attractive traits in a potential mate; I actually become very anxious around people who spend more than they should. But I never would have suspected that this is a rarity. Especially in this economy, amirite?
Because otherwise Dick Blick wouldn’t be selling these lifesize wooden manikins now would they?
Of course not.
Only $555 for the kid, $779 for the lady and $799 for the dude!
Hell, what’s another $800 when you’ve got $100K in art school loans, right kids? It’ll look so good in the condo! And now you’ll never have to draw from any of those gross naked people!!
I don’t know why everyone is so into the Mighty Boosh when they could be watching Time Trumpet.
